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Instant Karma – Part Deux

August 5, 2009

In a previous post I wrote about a moment of instant karma that my wife was involved in recently and it got me thinking about how tough a cookie she is. She does not take crap (as her husband I’m still undecided if that is good or bad for me). I’m reminded, though, of another case of instant karma involving my wife in Egypt that I want to share here.

But first a little background. Something to understand about Cairo is that there is a portion of the population that thinks every Western woman is easy and wants to have sex (possibly with you, right there, in the middle of the sidewalk surrounded by 20 million). A little like thinking every Muslim is a terrorist because you see it in the movies, there is the belief among some (but by no means all) that Western women will have sex with you if you go out with them, because the movies say so. To them its the immoral West, full of sex-crazed women, and their hot pants, and bikinis, and 13-year-olds in halter tops and trampy make-up.  Sexual repression, and the fact that masturbation is frowned upon heavily in the culture also contribute to actions toward Western women that are pretty sleazy, such as groping, hooting and lewd suggestions, and the almost ridiculous veer-into-the-boob-with-your-shoulder-as-the-woman-walks-by technique (that my wife was able to spot coming from half a block away), but hey, Western women want sex anyways, so what’s the big deal. These are unfortunately common occurrences in the tourist area of downtown Cairo where Westerners are common and a large number of  Egyptian males hang out (as touts and hustlers wanting you to buy papyrus, and tours, and perfume for exorbitant prices). Interestingly enough, it is best not to ignore this type of behavior but to call attention to it, otherwise you are giving off the impression that you don’t mind the offense (Egyptians are big on free will and will not impede on your wish to be groped, but if you display your disapproval a small village might just come to your aid). My wife had become quite good at displaying disapproval with a firm NO! or a verbal undressing when it was warranted (spurred on I think by her yoga teacher, Yoghita, who revealed to Tiff that she carried a very large, hardcover book in her bag at all times and would crack someone with it if they even looked at her funny). Needless to say there are misperceptions of Western women that are conditioned into the minds of some in that part of the world.

So, we had been living in Cairo for the better part of year and were going to visit some friends on the outskirts of the city. This meant a 40 minute ride on the metro system. It had been a long, hot ride and the metro was emptying out as we got further away from the city center. We were a few stops away from our destination so Tiff and I moved into the area where the exit doors are, she holding onto the pole by the door that would open to the platform, myself holding the pole opposite her, my back to the other exit door.

The metro pulled up to the next stop and the platform door opened…and that’s when it happened. Unbeknownst to me, a guy was sitting on the floor by the door behind me and jumped up to get off the train. He was wearing a bright, shiny green galabeya (the traditional garment worn by many Egyptians) and I turned to Tiff to say “Where did the leprechaun come from?” when his arm stretched out, hand opened, and he proceeded to grab her boob and give it the old squeeze. I was absolutely speechless. Until I heard this guttural “NNNOOOOO!!!!” and saw a right hook come from my wife that would’ve made Mike Tyson quiver (pre-Buster Douglas Tyson I’m talking about). She knocked the guy out. Not some quick punch, but a full-on cartoon-style slow-mo fist to the underside of the jaw, guys head goes back, feet lift off the floor, flies out the metro, lands on the platform at the feet of some passersby, bounces, head rolls to the side, metro doors slide closed and we proceed on toward our stop. Some of the people on the metro turned, gave a quick nod of acknowledgment to my wife, and resumed the reading of their papers, as my wife matter-of-factly said, “Well that killed his hard-on.” It was the craziest, damndest, most unbelievable, and “right on” moment I’ve ever seen and another case of Instant Karma – go for the cheap thrill and get dealt with…real quick. I have a feeling that guy will think twice the next time he goes for the grope ‘n’ dash.

It was then that I knew I would never have to worry about my wife’s physical safety.  Maybe I should start calling her the Karma Queen.

On a side note: In our time in Egypt, we found the majority of the Egyptian people warm,  friendly, incredibly funny, and tremendous examples of the famous Middle Eastern hospitality.

Salaam alaikum.

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